The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Month: January 2014

Pathwalking 109

Most people are familiar with the Golden Rule, and the phrase “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.”

What ends up being neglected is the notion to do unto yourself as you wish to have done unto you.

It is very easy to get caught up in looking out for your family and your friends and their wellbeing.  Sometimes it’s just easier to take on and deal with other people and their problems and needs and wants and desires and so on.  It is thoroughly important that we do well by and for the people in our lives.

The issue that this can cause, however, is self-neglect.  We get so distracted by our need to be good to and for the people in our lives that we don’t treat ourselves particularly well.  We don’t take the time to craft for ourselves, give proper attention to diet and exercise, and we sacrifice our own wellbeing in the interest of being well to others.

In a universe of abundance there is no need to sacrifice.  Temper, compromise, adjust to achieve balance, but sacrifice is a step further than is necessary.  Making yourself unhappy or outright miserable so that someone else is going to have a good experience is backwards – you need to be whole and content to give and do to others well.

Pathwalking is a different journey for everyone.  My path is not your path or his path or her path, but sharing what I learn as I walk my path can help you to walk yours.  I want to choose the destiny before me, and to make my way in the world in a manner that will most bring me contentedness and ultimately happiness.

In my life I have often sacrificed my time, my energy, my money, my focus, my fitness so that I could give more to those I cared about.  What I did not realize in doing this was that I was giving from a place of lack, and found that where I sought fulfillment actually caused me to need more.

Simply put – if you begin with an empty bank account, and try to give money away as though the account is full to overflowing, you build up a negative balance, and incur penalties.  If I take no time for myself, but give of my time to the point where I am neglecting my own needs, eventually I’ll incur a ‘penalty’, such as suffering a bout of depression or feeling general emotional emptiness or a physical illness or some other complication.

People don’t realize how important it is to give from a full account so that you are not sacrificing.  Whether what you are giving is time, emotional support, advice, money, love, or pretty much anything else you can think of, you yourself have to be full.

No one is full all the time.  We all have good days and bad days and off days and so on and so forth.  This does not mean you cannot give when you are not perfectly full, but we need to be better about knowing ourselves, and loving ourselves so that we do not wind up sacrificing in order to be giving.

Doing unto others as you would want done unto you is important.  If you treat people harshly or badly or negatively you are telling the universe that is exactly what you want in return.  On the other side of the coin, if you treat yourself harshly or badly or negatively, you are telling the universe that is exactly what you want in return.

This is not about Karma, this is about like attracting like.  If you give good, you draw good to you.  If you give bad, you draw bad to you.  Everything being energy, you are setting your frequency, and you are choosing whether it’s a positive or a negative setting you will broadcast.

This is why it is important that you do unto yourself as you would have others do to you.  Love yourself, give yourself praise and acknowledgement of your own worth.  It makes it far easier when you are starting from your own full account to give and do unto others in the most positive manner possible.

I am my own worst critic.  I am notorious for over-analyzing myself, how I do the things I do, and putting sharp focus on my perceived imperfections.  I am a master at sabotaging my own well-being.  Having come to recognize this, however, I am striving to be less critical, and more complimentary.  If I find I need to be critical about something, I am working on being constructively critical, rather than reproachful.  I am working on being fuller for my own good before I give to anyone else.

It is not selfish to do unto yourself as you would have others do to you.  It is self-interest, and self-love, and knowing your own merit that lets you fill your account to full and even overflowing, so that you can more confidently and positively do unto others.  When the self-account is full, the finding, choosing and walking your own path is that much more rewarding.

How do you treat yourself?

 

This is the one-hundred ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 108

Expectation is a powerful force.

What exactly IS expectation, anyhow?  Dictionary.com defines it thus:

noun

1. the act or the state of expecting: to wait in expectation.

2. the act or state of looking forward or anticipating.

3. an expectant mental attitude: a high pitch of expectation.

4. something expected; a thing looked forward to.

5. Often, expectations; a prospect of future good or profit: to have great expectations.

Looking forward, anticipating, waiting – and it is really great expectations that are what we all want to have when it comes to this action, this emotion.

However, expectation can also be a crutch.  It can be a blockage for the actions in the here-and-now, as often it is something ahead of us, rather than with us now.

Pathwalking, as stated rather frequently, is about living, working and acting in the now to create and control your fate and destiny.  Expectation, as evidenced in the definition above, it about the future.  It is a presumed, awaited outcome that is yet to happen.

While great expectations are important, as positive energies are important, it is also necessary to not let expectation stop your current actions.  It is a part of Pathwalking to have that end goal that you are traveling towards, but expectation of all that it will entail can, unchecked, detour your journey.

So now you’re telling me I should not expect great things?  I should not anticipate the outcome?  No.  What I am telling you is that it is important to be mindful and aware OF your expectations, and not just let them overwhelm you or override the path you are upon.

It is impossible not to have expectations.  There is seldom a situation where there will be no outcome at all, and as such there is something ahead to expect.  However, you can be aware of what you are expecting, and as such whether it is real or fantasy, positive or negative.

For example – you could want to start down the path towards a political career.  If that is your goal, and what you want, there are ALWAYS options.  You can take steps to start that particular path.  However, if you start from zero and want to be President of the United States – while that is not absolutely impossible, it IS a long ways from any starting point.  If you EXPECT that is where you will wind up – you may want to look closely the reality of your expectations.

On a less grand scale, there is a very practical reason to be aware of your expectations.  If you leave your house EXPECTING awful traffic and an unpleasant commute and a bad day ahead – chances are this is EXACTLY what you will get.  But if you leave your house EXPECTING traffic and a long commute and a day ahead – you’re in neutral, and ready for whatever comes.

You cannot control the traffic or the commute, but you CAN control how you feel during the day.  If you expect a bad day or a good day, which do you think is better?  This is where the power of expectation is to your advantage.  This is why awareness of your expectations, and the direction that they place you in is so keenly important.

Manage your expectations.  Expect nothing with the things you cannot control, such as the traffic, but expect a good day ahead rather than a bad one.  This will help foster positive energy within you, and when you can generate positive energy within you can more easily draw it from without as well.

What are you expecting?  Is it a good thing, or a bad thing?  Can you control it, or is it an outside influence beyond your control?  Is your expectation realistic, or reaching far beyond your abilities and creation?  Asking these questions will help you to manage your expectations, and thus exert control in your choices.

Awareness of the power of expectation is important.  Mindfulness of what you are expecting, and its grounding in being positive or negative, real or fantastic will help you to walk your chosen path.

What are you expectations?

 

This is the one-hundred eighth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 107

We form communities because it is human nature to not want to be alone.

What do communities form around?  It is usually a common element – everyone shares a skin color or similar beliefs about nature or a faith in god or a common activity and so forth.  The people find common ground with one another, and form a group that shares that commonality.  Now we are not alone.

The trouble is, while this starts off innocuously enough, often communities depart from their inclusionary origins to become exclusionary.  Sometimes this goes the way of isolation.  Sometimes this causes the original community to splinter and subdivide.  Sometimes this goes to the point where the community seeks to actively destroy those who do not share what they have with one another.

The togetherness that community creates among people can be a very good thing.  It is human nature to seek out companions, whether blood or lovers or friends, and forming a community is one way to do this.  One issue that often occurs is with community comes conformity.

Our society as a whole is all about conforming.  Those in power certainly don’t want free thinkers breaking the mold that they have worked so hard to gain control of.  However, you need to just look around you when you are standing in a crowded room or on the streets of any major city to recognize that one size does NOT fit all.

While we may all conform into various aspects of any given community, we are still individuals.  As much as we sometimes like to sink into the downy softness of the blanket of community, we cannot and should not deny our individuality.  Or worse, we should not attempt to destroy individuality in ourselves or in others.

Pathwalking is about embracing my own uniqueness.  It is my journey every day to discover, explore, and enjoy my own personal path in life.  The overriding goal of this is to find happiness with who I am in this world.

There are days when this is really really hard.  Even amongst the communities I count myself a part of, there are times I very much feel the outsider.  I feel no matter how much I try to belong, I do not.

When I was younger, I used to change who I was, how I acted, what I did in order to best be accepted by the community I wanted to be included in.  I would act in a manner I believed the other members of the community wanted me to.  I would hold my tongue, alter my trajectory and do whatever it took to be embraced within the community.

More than once I reinvented myself.  In some instances this was due to a complete change of venue for my life.  In some, it was a matter of seeing that who I had become was not making me happy.  I still found that I was more concerned about making myself into someone that other people would accept and welcome into their given community than the person I wanted to be.

I began Pathwalking as an abstract concept that I decided I needed to truly live.  This has been a unique challenge.  Some days are of course harder than others.  Some days it is utterly and totally worthwhile.

I cannot escape my communities I am a part of.  However, I can actively choose them.  I can seek out communities that are open-minded, inclusionary, non-judgmental, but most importantly make feel confident that they will support my choices and who I am striving to be.

It is important to be aware.  This awareness should extend to the communities you are a part of.  Do they reinforce positive, constructive energies – or negative, destructive ones?  As I have mentioned time and again, we get much further in this world by building, developing and growing than by destroying, hindering and stagnating.

If you are not part of a community that makes you feel comfortably at home, you can always move on.  And more than that, you can always form your own community.

We are a community.  Pathwalkers and the choices we make often feel very alone in our non-conformity.  However, as cliché as it may seem, we have each other.  Together, we are a community, mutually supporting one another and our individual paths, journeys and goals.

Beyond these microcosms we form and call our communities, remember that underneath it all, no matter our race, our creed, our color of skin, our gender, our nationality, our religion, our ethnicity, our sexual orientation and every other divide we create amongst ourselves – we are all one.  Every one of us is connected by the indestructible energy of the whole universe.

No matter our individuality or our associations, we are all one very large, very diverse and interconnected community of energy beings.

Even when you are feeling loneliest, you are not alone.

 

This is the one-hundred seventh entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

The return of the ERA

What happened to the ERA?

The Equal Rights Amendment was first introduced to Congress in December of 1923, and every subsequent session of congress through 1970.  After almost five decades of being constantly buried in committee, the ERA finally got put to a vote by the full House of Representatives in 1971, where it passed, and then the Senate in 1972.

The passing of this historic amendment by Congress, however, was insufficient for the constitution to be changed.  It needed to be ratified by 38 of 50 States, and though the deadline for this to happen would be extended by three years, by 1982 it failed and was left for dead.

Over the next three plus decades the amendment has still seen occasional action, but no significant forward motion.  Despite the best efforts of certain organizations and individuals, it has yet to completely disappear from the political or social landscape of the United States.

The ERA exists in the Senate today.  On March 5, 2013, Senator Bob Menendez of New Jersey reintroduced the Equal Rights Amendment in the 113th Congress as S.J. Res 10.

What exactly DOES the Equal Rights Amendment say, anyhow?  It is stunningly simple.

Article–

Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.

Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.

Section 3. This article shall take effect 2 years after the date of ratification.

Simple, yes…and yet incredibly important.  This amendment would have a profound effect on the ability of individual states to continue to make clearly sexist and gender biased laws.

I would, however, suggest that it go further.  Equal rights should not just be set out for men and women.  They should go on to also provide equality for any gender identification, skin color or sexual orientation.

We the people need to demand that not only does the 114th Congress once more take up the Equal Rights Amendment, but take it up to include as follows:

Article–

Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex, gender, skin color, faith or sexual orientation.

Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.

Section 3. This article shall take effect 1 year after the date of ratification.

We need to insist that Congress take action, and guarantee equal rights for everyone across our nation, no matter what differences there are between us.  It is not just equality needed between men and women, equality needs to exist between EVERYONE.

It is time that the federal government take this step, and stop the individual states from continuing to execute laws that further the inequality of the people of this nation.  For a country that once prided itself on being a “melting pot”, where once we furthered our unity, increasingly we are seeing examples of widening our divisions.

If the United States Congress is truly still a body that is created BY the people, FOR the people, then it is time that they show it.  Enough with partisan politics, enough with the constant infighting and accomplishing nothing unless is guarantees reelection – we the people need to entreat Congress to truly represent us ALL.  I believe that the ERA may be the perfect means to do exactly that.

I call upon our so-called representatives to do their jobs, and represent us.  Not just the “us” who can pay for your campaigns.  Pass the expanded ERA, and then send it to the states to put on the ballots in 2016, and let’s show the world we are still living up to the ideals we hold so dear.

Pathwalking 106

Do you overthink things?

This is a very important question, because knowing the answer makes a tremendous difference in how and where you find satisfaction in life.

I often remark that my inner skeptic gets in the way of my plans.  But more realistically, I think, it is my tendency to overthink.

What exactly is overthinking?

Overthinking is when you consider every possible aspect and angle of a given situation, apply reason and logic, then rethink the whole thing, applying more reason and more logic, to the point where you convince yourself that you are either doing something wrong or you will make a mistake or you lose sight of the idea because you have taken it to a place far beyond the original intention.

The previous run-on sentence is a perfect example of how overthinking works.  You start at point “a”, intent on reaching point “b”, but somehow wind up at point “q”.  Before you know it, you cannot make much use of the first idea.

Thinking is important.  To walk any path, you start with the idea about the path you want to walk, then you think about how to walk it, get a sense of how that will feel, and then take action.  Pathwalking is the combination of thought with feeling and action, as I have expressed many times before.  But you cannot rely on feeling and action alone.

Thought comes in many forms.  Some thoughts are good, some are bad, but really most are pretty neutral.  It is the intent behind the thought that takes on direction towards good or bad, right or wrong, moral or amoral, and so on.  Because people do not distinguish between thought and intention, people come to believe that thinking can be bad.

If more people would think for themselves, the world would be a far better place.  It is too easy to let other people do all the thinking for you.  Pathwalking is about taking control of your life and your destiny, and that involves thinking for yourself.

The challenge is to find and know the difference between not thinking, thinking, and overthinking.  As with everything else, balance needs to be achieved.

Not thinking can manifest in a variety of ways.  Some are good – following your gut instinct for your own good, taking a leap of faith to make yourself happy, the first kiss and so on.  Some are bad – allowing lust to overcome faithfulness, saying a hurtful thing unintentionally, the heat of the moment lashing out verbally or physically and such.  Knowing that you have not put thought to something is important because the lesson to be learned is dependent on whether you wound up happy or discontented from the action that followed.

Thinking is considering your options, examining choices, making decisions based on consideration and logic applied to a given situation.  Sometimes the thought requires little to no time and deliberation, and sometimes it takes a while.  Thinking about what you are doing, where you are going, who you are with, what you want from life, who you are and more allows you to make choices and assert control over life.

Overthinking can be better summed up as taking the thought process so very far that you never take any action.  You don’t accept the job offer, start the relationship, invest the money, choose the choice before it is no longer available – because you spent so much time thinking about it and considering it and analyzing it that it passed you by.  That is overthinking.

I have done this more times than I can count.  Probably more than letting my cynical side or my skepticism overcome my thought – I have simply overthought something and subsequently lost it.

What do you do about overthinking?

Identifying the difference between not thinking, thinking and overthinking is the first step.  Recognizing these individually allows me to better know in a given situation what I am doing.  Did I act on my gut?  Did I give it thought?  Am I giving it too much thought?  This is where we need to be.

How do I stop myself overthinking?  To be perfectly honest – I am not entirely certain.  I believe, however, that the answer is this: once you have identified an overthinking situation, stop your deliberation and take action.  Quit preparing, pondering, examining, exploring and analyzing whatever the options are and take action.  That strikes me as the most logical answer.

Easier said than done?  Probably.  But I know I will be trying it for myself next time I overthink an idea.

Do you find yourself overthinking things?

 

This is the one-hundred sixth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 105

Around the world today people are celebrating the New Year.

Why is this significant?  What does it mean?  What way, if any, does this effect Pathwalking?

Let’s break this down to its very core.  New is unfamiliar, a start, an origin.  Year is an easily marked measure of linear time.  New Year’s implies a time of rebirth, renewal, and new beginnings.  Its very name speaks plainly of a fresh space in time. 

As much as many fear change, people are constantly looking for an acceptable space for it to happen.  A new year is a chance to hit the reset button, to start out in a previously untaken direction, a time to begin again.  This is the time when change can be made, the world expects it.

That is where, I believe, New Year’s resolutions come in.  This is why they are so popular.  This is the acceptable time for me to direct a change I want to make in my life.  The word new dominates this day, giving people the excuse or permission they feel they need to seek from the world outside to embrace change.

How many times has the phrase “You’ve changed” been used in popular culture to imply not for the better?  “He’s a changed man” and “Her whole attitude has changed” get tossed about as though change is usually an unwelcome thing.  We want the world to maintain the status quo, and are not comfortable when it does not.

As I have mentioned before, part of our dual nature is that we also desire change.  We want to grow, and learn…and inevitably to change.  Yet that desire and deep-seated need is counterbalanced by the undesirable negative reaction of our society to change.  We want to change and not to change all at the same time.

This is part of the cause, I believe, for people to not choose their own destinies.  It is the fear of the negative reaction to change that drives us to allow outside forces control.  It is easier, and it seems more socially acceptable to just go with the flow, let life live you, and not rock the boat, so to speak.

But then we get to New Year’s Day.  Here the whole world marks the beginning of a new stretch of linear time.  This is the perfect vehicle to go ahead and make a socially accepted change.

I further believe it is because we do not take control of our own choices and destiny more frequently that so many New Year’s resolutions fail.  Further, resolving to do something is kind of passive/aggressive.  You state an intent in a resolution…but is there a corresponding action?

This is where Pathwalking began for me.  I chose not to make a New Year’s resolution – instead I chose to take a New Year’s action.  I stated that I would post to my blog once a week, every week, for a whole year.  I set a day of the week on which I would do this…two years later I cannot imagine my life without this weekly action.

Pathwalking is about choosing your life’s course.  Your fate, your destiny, whatever you wish to call it.  Choice is about control.  By choosing to walk your own path, you are choosing to take control of the life before you.  One of the main things this gives you control over is change.

The only other demarcation of time where most people find it socially acceptable to effect change is a Birthday.  Once more, we see the deeply personal New Year for that person, and we can accept if they choose that time for change. 

I have said many times before, and will likely say many times again that Change is inevitable.  It is a result of living, learning, growing, and experiencing life.  Pathwalking is very much about embracing change, by choosing what I want from my life, and thus directing how it will come about. 

As the New Year dawns, join me in not making a resolution.  Instead, this year, choose an action.  Don’t just resolve to change this or do that or whatever – act.  Don’t resolve to exercise more – join a gym.  Don’t resolve to go on a diet – make a change to your eating habits.  Don’t resolve to be a better person – make your actions towards yourself and others more positive. 

Choose action instead of resolution.  As Yoda so wisely said, “Do or Do Not – there is no Try!”

Happy New Year Pathwalkers!  

 

This is the one-hundred fifth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

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